


Babysitting Blues 14

by lostinmymindforever



Series: Babysitting Blues!Verse [16]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angst, Babysitting Blues!Verse, F/M, Gen, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-10
Updated: 2012-09-10
Packaged: 2017-11-13 22:37:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinmymindforever/pseuds/lostinmymindforever





	Babysitting Blues 14

Dean was staring, he knew it wasn't polite but he couldn't help himself. Sometimes when he'd go over to Uncle Michael and Uncle Jimmy's house he'd find himself staring at Uncle Michael. Dean didn't understand why the man looked so much like an older version of himself. Uncle Jimmy and Papa Cas looking alike Dean just added up to them being twins in his mind. 

Sometimes when Daddy would smile, Dean would see his Sammy. Daddy and Sammy had the same hazel eyes, same dimples. In Dean's mind it was almost like Sammy was Daddy and Papa's son and he was not. Dean tried to keep those feelings at bay, but at times it was just hard.

Shaking his head, Dean ran upstairs to find Sammy. The two boys had been going through boxes in the attic at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and Sammy had wanted a snack. He had gone downstairs where Daddy and Papa and Uncle Michael and Uncle Jimmy were having coffee with Grandpa John in the living room. Dean somehow knew that Uncle Michael was related to Grandpa John, even though he called Grandpa Chuck Father. 

Dean found Sammy sitting where he had left him, holding a photo album in his lap. The four year old smiled up at Dean, patting the spot next to him. "Found this. I waited 'til you got back to see who's in it."

Dean grinned, throwing his arm around Sammy's shoulder, nodding at him to open the album.

As soon as the book was open, both boys smiled at the pictures of Grandma Mary and Grandpa John dressed in obviously their wedding clothes. The two looked so happy, so young in the photos. They turned the pages, giggling at some of the clothes their gandparents wore, until they got to a picture of them holding a baby. 

Dean and Sammy looked at the baby, Dean at first thinking it was Daddy, but the eyes were wrong. Daddy had hazel eyes and the baby had bright green eyes, Dean's eyes, Uncle Michael's eyes. Dean gently took the photo out, and turned it over to see if there was any writing on it. 

"What's it say?" Sammy asked, peering up at him.

Dean didn't know how to respond, the picture had his name on it, his birthday, but the year was just wrong. He thought back to when he was younger, the photos he had seen of Daddy with the other man, who nowadays Dean just assumed was Uncle Michael. But if the name on the back of the photo was right, Dean couldn't wrap his mind around what that meant.

He placed the photo back in the album and returned to looking at all the pictures. The next few pages were filled with photos of his grandparents and the baby. The farther into the book he got the older the boy got, and Dean couldn't believe how much he looked like Dean himself. 

Sammy and Dean got to the end of the album, and Dean noticed another one sitting next to Sammy. He picked it up, and there again was Grandma and Grandpa and the little boy. But in these photos, Grandma was very pregnant. After a few pages, there was a picture of Grandma and Grandpa and the mystery boy and a baby. The boy was holding the baby in his arms carefully, kissing him gently on the forehead. Dean pulled this photo out, looking at the writing on the back. 

He knew when his Daddy was born, and the date confirmed that the baby in the photo was Daddy. But the inscription on the back said, "Dean and Baby Sammy". Dean didn't know what to think, his mind was trying to tell him something, but as always when he'd get those flashes, his mind reburied the memories or whatever they were.

He put the picture back, hands shaking. Sammy looked at him worried, but Dean just shook his head, telling the younger boy that he was fine. When Sammy nodded, they went back to looking at the photos. Dean couldn't help the feeling of nervousness and dread that filled him as he continued looking. 

Sammy kept smiling, not understanding what was wrong, but believing Dean when he said he was fine, Dean wouldn't lie to him. The next page had photos that were obviously from Halloween, Grandma and Grandpa stood smiling with the little boy who was dressed as batman, and the baby was in his stroller dressed as Robin. 

Dean tensed next to Sammy, his mind filled with the smell of smoke, the feeling of heat, terror, his mother's screams. His mother? Dean didn't have a mother, he had Daddy and Papa, and had never once questioned that. His breath started coming fast, he needed to get outside, take Sammy and get outside, make sure his brother was safe. Brother? Sammy wasn't his brother, he was his cousin, his best friend. Why would he think that? Dean was shaking, panicking. He grabbed Sammy, wrapping the boy's arms around his neck, and raced down the stairs.

Sammy was scared, he didn't know what was wrong. Didn't know why Dean kept repeating that he had him, that Sammy was safe. But whatever was going on, Sammy knew he had to stick with Dean. Dean needed him.

Less than a minute after the boys got outside, Dean still holding Sammy close to his chest, Grandpa John and Dean and Sammy's parents raced outside after them. Grandpa was the first one to their side, pulling the boys into his arms. He didn't know what was wrong, but he could tell that Dean was terrified. 

"I got him out, he's safe. I did what you asked," Dean told him, tears streaming down his face.

Grandpa's eyes widened, and Dean saw Daddy's jaw drop. 

"Oh, God," Sam whispered, dropping to his knees by his father. He gently took his son and Sammy, who Dean refused to let go of, into his arms. "Dean, sweetie, look at me," Sam begged, gently lifting his son's chin up.

Dean had tears streaming out of his eyes, his lips trembling. While his eyes were on Sam's face, Sam could tell he wasn't seeing him. 

"The fire is so hot," Dean whispered, holding onto Sammy like his life depended on it. 

Sammy was scared, he didn't know what was wrong, didn't understand why Dean was talking about a fire.

After much prodding, Dean handed Sammy over to his grandfather, the little boy getting more and more scared as the minutes passed. John swallowed hard, passing the boy to Michael, and helping Sam carry Dean back into the house. Sam and Michael took the boys into the guest room, laying them down on the bed. Dean had cried himself to sleep, and Sammy just wanted to make sure the other boy was OK. They watched as Sammy curled against the older boy, resting his hand over Dean's heart, just listening to him breathe.

When they knew the boys would be fine for a while, Sam and Michael walked back into the livingroom. They noticed John had an old box on his lap. He pulled out the photo albums from the box, showing them to the others. Sam picked the first one up, and began flipping through it. 

He realized that all the photos were from before the fire. There were photos of his brother as a newborn, as a toddler, photos of his fourth birthday, an obviously pregnant Mary Winchester smiling as Dean blew out the candles on his birthday cake.

When he finished looking at that album, John handed him the next one. Sam's mouth went dry as he realized that all the photos in this album were taken from shortly before he was born right up until he was six months old. Sam had always known that deep down Dean somehow knew what had happened, but he realized that looking at these photos must have triggered memories. It was no wonder Dean had clinged so hard to Sammy and John. 

For the life of him Sam wasn't sure how he was going to deal with whatever fallout there obviously was going to be with Dean. Sam ran his fingers through his hair, leaning back into Castiel's arms, Cas silently holding him as he collected his thoughts.

An hour or so later, Dean made his way out into the livingroom, his hair sticking up in odd angles. He walked over to the couch and plopped himself down on Sam's lap, resting his head against his Daddy's chest. He looked grumpy and sad and scared and confused. Sam knew Dean hated it when he couldn't control his emotions, he always had, now as Sam's son and before as Sam's big brother.

"You alright, kiddo?" Sam asked, ruffling Dean's hair, placing a kiss on the top of his head.

Dean glared up at Sam, "No. Don't call me kiddo."

Sam nodded sadly, Dean had never had a nickname before but now Sam really didn't know what was going on in the boy's head. He would have asked him, but Sammy took that moment to walk out of the bedroom, heading straight for Dean. Sam noticed the sad, hurt look in Jimmy and Michael's eyes as he walked by them without even a glance.

Dean repositioned himself on Sam's lap, pulling the other boy against him. He messed with Sammy's hair, much to the four year old's annoyance, "You have a good nap, Little Man?"

Sammy nodded, confused by Dean's behaviour and the nickname. He wanted to ask what was going on, but could tell by the look on Dean's face that the older boy didn't want to talk. 

\---

It was almost a week after that afternoon before Sam was able to get Dean to talk to him about it. His son had been distant, having a haunted look on his face every time he would look at Sammy. Sometimes Sam felt that when Dean looked at him he had no clue who Sam was. It was breaking Sam's heart, and Castiel grieved with him. Sam had lost his brother almost four years earlier and gained a son, a son who now was pulling away from them. 

Sam had been sitting in the kitchen, nursing a beer, when Dean walked in. The boy sat down at the table across from him, looking at Sam like he was trying to take in every detail, like he was trying to relearn the man's face. Sam let the boy look at him in silence, not wanting to either scare or drive him farther away.

Dean swallowed hard, biting his lip. He didn't understand what was going on, what was wrong with him. He sat looking at his father, part of his mind screaming that that was wrong. Sam wasn't his father, his dad was dead. Had been for years. Sam was his brother, his younger brother. But the rest of him resisted those thoughts, Sam was Daddy, had been Daddy as far back as Dean could remember. 

Daddy made sure Dean was safe, Daddy and Papa made sure that Dean didn't have to face the monsters Dean knew were out there. Daddy let him take care of his Sammy, his Sammy who should be Dean's little brother but wasn't. Dean felt like his brain was a puzzle who's pieces were all jumbled up, and he was working on trying to put everything back together. 

Dean nodded at Sam, a small smile on his face, before walking around the table and wrapping his arms around the man. "Everything will be OK, Daddy. I'll make sure everything is OK."


End file.
